So i went out with this guy for a few weeks. He was super nice. But we just didnt click. I wish we would have! He has got to be the nicest guy ive ever met but there was just something in me that was uncomfortable and didnt feel right. I prayed about several nights, then i just woke up this last morning and knew what i had to do. It was hard. And i feel like crap for letting him down, but it had to be done. Kinda stinks right before Valentines Day. or as a good friend of mine would call it... singles awareness day! lol So true though. But i guess i have some other things to look foreward to. Like my little sisters wedding. Cant wait! Im the maid of honor so ill have a lot of responsibilities but i look foreward to it. Its a little hard seeing my "little" sister getting married before me but the happiness for her way out weighs the little bit of jealousy i have. Her fiance and her make a great couple and i believe that they will have a great marriage. The are sooo suited for each other. But now, cause of the wedding im on a time crunch to loose my weight ive gained. Ive been trying to work out twice a day... ive already lost 11 lbs. But now ive got to be in a little cute dress by aug 20th. That gives me a little bit of time but ive got a lot of weight to loose too! It can be done though and I am determined to do it!
Its late tonight... fell asleep at aprox 10:30 and woke up at 2am. really kinda stinks... but ive been trying not to take my sleeping meds. They are addictive and i really dont want to have that problem. So i guess this is what i do at night. Just write everything thats on my mind... not a whole heck of a lot lol but something to do i guess. I watch grandma tomorrow so that will give me something to do.
I also am in a spot where i dont know what to do... i just applied for a job with the railroad... my parents dont think that would be a good job for me and if i do end up getting a job with them it may stall my going back to school... i dont know if i would be any good at it or not. Something ive been praying about. To know what path i should take. Maybe the railroad is not for me. I really dont know. So if you read this... i could use some prayers. Just to help me see what God wants me to do.
Well i suppose i should try and go back to sleep... so Good night for now.
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